Tuesday, 31 August 2010

░▒▓█ 4 Great Victories Before the People's Assembly

In the Grand Hall of the People where I am known to have already taken up the arduous task of fathering technicians mostly from Third World countries I pledge my skills to the test once again against this South Korean boy that I have mentioned before.

His best character is ST DeeJay, but I managed to destroy him with ST Bison using very simple and practical techniques and without much difficulty. Surprised, he resorted to the shotokan turtles Ken and Ryu consecutively, but he fared even worse.

Going into random mode now he took a character that I do not really remember seeing him use before - ST. Feilong. He must be quite out of his mind. No matter, as I was starting to tire of using the Dictator. Switching to my most favourite character if not also the best that is the Super Original Balrog I made pretty quick work on him following my counter-bluff tactics that proved quite effective.

To add another Super Orginal Balrog win to my collection was enough - at least for the day. And so I closed off and expressed formal thanks for the Games.


It's not often that I beat his ST DeeJay with ST M. Bison that I do not yet master.


His Ken was a disappointment.


His Ryu was only slightly more entertaining, but was still a disappointment.


Super Original Balrog takes the stage once again!!! My heartfelt regrets go to
the home character.

You rarely see me play on the 2P side but that doesn't mean I have a problem from that end either. It was a series of landmark victories that culminated in great satisfaction. Meaning I do take him quite seriously as an opponent even though ironically I rarely take my opponents seriously when I decide to pick ST Bison (which is also because I don't know the commands to take the Super Original one that I LIKE EVEN MORE).

Thursday, 26 August 2010

░▒▓█ Fatness was unveiled before the committee today.

Fought this crazy Bahraini (a friend of ANSARI or maybe he himself) who made a shocking pronouncement. And a valiant attempt at overreaching.


EX for me as usual. Least-supported mode as always.


A scary announcement. I actually didn't know who he was.


Oh no... I was busy flashing the emoticons actually. And Kim is the
most uncooperative team player.


His English is even more terrifying than his decree.


A retort. The battle begins!!!


The Last Round. The LAST ROUND...!!!


OH NO!!!!!!!!




Good night.



Announcing...


HOW COULD THIS BE??? HOW COULD I BEET HIM!!!!

"beet beet beet beet" beat

Start getting a stamp album baby!!! Go collect stamps!!!!!



http://www.rpsl.org.uk/


░▒▓█ Breast Equality?




An article from the Sarcastic Society
Nutshell:
Women demand equality for their breasts.

Full-blown:




Breast Equality?
Written by The Sarcasmist on August 23, 2010


Over the weekend there were protests held across the country demanding gender equality. This time, however, the demands were about the double-standard that sets apart men’s and women’s breasts. As everyone knows, it is against the law for women to go topless in public; however, the same is not true for men. So a group of women, and some very ‘forward thinking’ men have taken up the cause to get women’s breasts the same rights that men’s chests enjoy.

More than 200 people, including about two dozen topless women, marched on the Venice Beach boardwalk Sunday afternoon to protest state laws that bar women from going bare-chested in public. (LA Times)

It would be a horrible idea to allow women’s breast to go uncovered in public. If we allow women to show their breasts in public, then the next thing we know they will want equal pay, and the right to vote. Not only would allowing breast equality hurt the moral fiber of our country, it will also have negative economic impact. Imagine all the business adult magazines and websites would lose if men could just go down to the beach for breast-watching, instead of buying a copy of Playboy or paying their monthly adult website membership dues.

This selfish demand by women is sure to plunge our country into even more socio-economic turmoil.

Yes this is a demand that has long been overdue. I'm so glad that they are waking up and are engaging in greater activism regarding this delicate subject sense of proportion. As a standard bearer of the scales Libra I observe and I say, thank you.

... And before the fullblown exposure I actually took the subject very literally and thought it was a social thesis of unequal and uneven breasts found in most women (like left is smaller than right and vice versa) hahahahaha.


This is what I meant.

░▒▓█ Breast Equality?




An article from the Sarcastic Society
Nutshell:
Women demand equality for their breasts.

Full-blown:




Breast Equality?
Written by The Sarcasmist on August 23, 2010


Over the weekend there were protests held across the country demanding gender equality. This time, however, the demands were about the double-standard that sets apart men’s and women’s breasts. As everyone knows, it is against the law for women to go topless in public; however, the same is not true for men. So a group of women, and some very ‘forward thinking’ men have taken up the cause to get women’s breasts the same rights that men’s chests enjoy.

More than 200 people, including about two dozen topless women, marched on the Venice Beach boardwalk Sunday afternoon to protest state laws that bar women from going bare-chested in public. (LA Times)

It would be a horrible idea to allow women’s breast to go uncovered in public. If we allow women to show their breasts in public, then the next thing we know they will want equal pay, and the right to vote. Not only would allowing breast equality hurt the moral fiber of our country, it will also have negative economic impact. Imagine all the business adult magazines and websites would lose if men could just go down to the beach for breast-watching, instead of buying a copy of Playboy or paying their monthly adult website membership dues.

This selfish demand by women is sure to plunge our country into even more socio-economic turmoil.

Yes this is a demand that has long been overdue. I'm so glad that they are waking up and are engaging in greater activism regarding this delicate subject sense of proportion. As a standard bearer of the scales Libra I observe and I say, thank you.

... And before the fullblown exposure I actually took the subject very literally and thought it was a social thesis of unequal and uneven breasts found in most women (like left is smaller than right and vice versa) hahahahaha.


This is what I meant.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

░▒▓█ Once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

From the Sarcasm Society:

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." -Time Vine



Congratulations for finally losing your virginity.



░▒▓█ Once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

From the Sarcasm Society:

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." -Time Vine



Congratulations for finally losing your virginity.



Saturday, 21 August 2010

░▒▓█ Cultural Interview: It's allergies ... really!

Interviewer: What was the last thing that made you cry?

The realisation that Earth isn't broken up into pieces yet.

Oh this reminds me of a conversation I had with my Dad this morning. We were talking about Albert Einstein, and then Nicola Tesla and his overrated opponent of the day Thomas Edison. Dad told me Tesla could actually find a way to split the Earth into two.

"He should do it," I said in great earnest on realising it was still a one-piece rotating sphere, and after a brief moment of silent consideration he laughed.


░▒▓█ I had read the book

One that I have purchased recently. It's called the "Eye Effect", and I thought it was money well-spent. As I read through his work carefully up to the the last striking paragraphs I started thinking of what the author is like - not so much of a person but more in terms of what he had gone through and all in his own life.

And I felt sad.

Because from how he detailed the various attacks and unhappy things people were to do to an individual and how he could deal with them and defend himself in return it is clear to me that either someone he knows or he himself had actually faced a number of these things in real life, and that sufferer must have struggled like mad to find his way out. And it seems that he had succeeded, through the corresponding suggestions he must have used himself that I thought, were reasonable and possible.

What was mentioned in the book was a range of social scenarios, mental solutions and matter-of-fact advice but what was not mentioned were the pains and tears that hid behind them all.

Ah, see what they've done. These are what people are capable of when it comes to helping others. The words of the late predecessor Dale Carnegie had also fallen upon deaf ears.

To the author: you've come so far. Great work, and, take the best care of yourself.

░▒▓█ Cultural Interview: Help, I need somebody!

Interviewer: Do you think you would you risk your life to save a stranger? Would it make a difference if it were an elderly person or a child? What about a neighbor's dog or cat?

I hope someday to be a saint. But not a martyr.


Friday, 20 August 2010

░▒▓█ I was a teen and young adult in the 60s

I was a teen and young adult in the 60′s. I always admired those who were willing to go to jail for their beliefs. I am now 61 and have not yet had a cause to be arrested for.  I have tried, but I end up just being called disruptive and nuts. Do you have any suggestions?

- Bonnie

Bonnie. You have tried your best but, I'm sorry to break it to you, your best is still not good enough. You just need to try even harder, like protesting irresponsibly for your fanatical beliefs like you do but this time in North Korea for example. You'd get a far more profound official reaction than that of apathy and junior high name-calling. Don't give up on your dreams and beliefs. Let nobody take these away from you.


Senior army officer: "At this gap from the ground, especially with a good cable rope made by our state factories this unrepentant Amerikkkan imperialist will eventually give up against our ideological struggle, and die."
DL : "Ah, and I was so worried that she'd be alright."


░▒▓█ I hate the people I work with

I hate the people I work with, they are a bunch of pricks. However, I can’t find another job at the moment. How can I deal with these stupid people at work? -Ana

Well Ana,

It's obvious isn't it? Just go to work naked. No dumb high heels or annoying footwear either. You'd notice a sudden change in their usual attitude towards you, and there's no turning back. Needless to say all in all you'd feel lots of love in no time.


This primitive form of office wear also helps when you need to negotiate a raise with your boss.


Cheers!


░▒▓█ The firm correction of an uninformed Westerner.


Safety measure on board a North Korean airliner. You read right, it's not 'Escape Route'.

SuperLuigirules1: That escape rope will come in handy at 33000 feet

SS: That escape rope is meant to self-strangle and kill yourself off quickly so you won't have to face so much fear and pain later.

Gringo idiota.


░▒▓█ Hard Work & Riches

Hard work is always 'rewarded'.

The multitudes of those sour and embittered proverb-building capitalist aspirants aside, people* in concentration camps would attest to that. They would speak of great riches gained in rather intangible terms like soul purification, physical education, mental reeducation towards the truth etc, those precious things that money can't really buy.


*They are volunteers.

░▒▓█ People get it all wrong

A scene girl is not a girl in some scene or a girl at the scene of whatever - rather it is just a girl that is extremely capable of, making a scene.

Unprotected under-the-belt penetration has to be done firmly and without regrets despite her scenic banshee-esque screams that might just penetrate your ear drums in return.
 

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

░▒▓█ A Tragedy

It has no doubt taken place on YouTube.

Photobucket

Today I share with you sad news that the illustrious band from the United States of America called marcustheband, is no more!!!

And they were lying - they were actually meditating under the waterfall trying to see themselves as the alternative (and hoping some imaginary fan would stalk and take sneaky pictures of them in that state) and to strike a big and forceful comeback onto the music scene via... the Internet. Like many other victims I had also received the honour of being actually invited by them to subscribe to them, but at that time I was young and foolish and more importantly I didn't understand what it meant.

Unparalleled Musicians that are not of others. How could this be? How could you be so cruel? All throughout your lives, you've endured so much pain and hardship just to endlessly contribute to America's declining music scene despite your two years spent more productively crying together for long hours in the shadow. Why did you decide to abandon us now...?

Even if the sky has fallen into pieces, I would not believe it!! All our hopes for tomorrow's rain... are gone!!! Agriculture would flourish again! See? Even those cute locusts have come forward in swarms... to weep with us!!

Photobucket

░▒▓█ Addressing the clichés of our time.

1. There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Advisory: Unless it comes from charity.

2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Advisory: That would depend on your aim.

3. Better late than never.
Advisory: That doesn't really apply to mental retardation.

4. You can’t judge a book by its cover.
Advisory: But you can certainly judge its price.

5. She is burning her candle at both ends.
Advisory: Which is a good start towards her new existence.

6. Nice guys finish last.
Advisory: Because nice guys are usually slow eaters.

7. Go the extra mile.
Advisory: Only if there are people watching.

8. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Advisory: Because the water is dirty.

░▒▓█ I have not lived my life in vain

There is Safety in Numbers
Written by The Sarcasmist on August 13, 2010

    There is safety in numbers, as long as you are in the middle of the herd.
    -Sarcasm Society


As a veteran cattle-herder I can well attest to that. It sure feels great to have my heart spoken out finally, even if it was purely an accident on their part.

Saturday, 14 August 2010

░▒▓█ Rain, rain...

Rain, rain, more I say

Go away another day.

There can be no other way


As sunny days are all so gay.



 

 

Friday, 13 August 2010

░▒▓█ The whole problem with the world is that…

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
-Bertrand Russell

That's because wiser people have lower self-esteem. Confidence is everything.

░▒▓█ Of Women and Japs.

Fun Parody

After spending the longest time in observance of these esteemed specialist groups, several parallels between these two types have but made themselves clear to me, that I shall generously share with all of you:

#1 - Both are indirect and self-suppressed. On the other hand they also like saying things that are different from what they think (ie excessive praise and lies).

#2 - Both have higher demands of social etiquette on their kinds than compared to others.

#3 - Both enforce (mostly artificial) manners on themselves for they can also be rude at the same time.


#4 - Both try to use quietness to their (usually unreasonable) advantage and play mind games on people.


#5 - Both are capable of being simultaneously practical and sentimental.


#6 - Both make notes of everything in their minds and bear petty grudges until they die.


#7 - Both are apolitical and spiritually bankrupt. These two facets bore and confuse them.

#8 - Both are naturally cunning and deceitful in getting whatever they want.


#9 - There are no clear winners be it in a group of women or in a group of Japs.


#10 - Both like to go out in twos or in groups, even to the washroom. They are not very often seem alone. To them, there is always safety in numbers.


#11 - Both would feel very injured and get really defensive when they feel their kind is being attacked on the slightest, and both would easily feel very happy and content when they are being praised.


#12 - Both have an extremely tame if not actually a bad sense of humour outright.


#13 - Both are greatly powered by emotions.


#14 - Both like to wear at least two masks and fake innocence on the outside (even if both are beasts in actuality).

#15 - Both are hilarious whenever they try to show their ego.

#16 - Both have pretty poor language sense. Just like a woman's mind is not properly wired for language (take note: form) in conversation (read Allan Pease's book), a Jap has similarly no real skill when he attempts to speak a language. Both try, but flaws still present themselves nevertheless.

#17 - Both enjoy pretending to be virtuous, fair and objective. In reality, while we give them the benefit of the doubt on virtue, it is worth understanding that both groups are actually equally incapable of any fairness and objectivity, and even base logic, in their views and arguments. To think that I actually felt a bit nauseous at this last revelation... These creatures should all be rfid microchipped and tracked like inventories in a big warehouse. It's for their own good.

So, if you understand women, you'd understand Japs, and vice versa. Have a nice day hahahahaha.

And actually I'm not sure if this should be categorized under Boys and Girls for they are all girls as you can tell. But for visibility's sake, oh well.


Wednesday, 11 August 2010

░▒▓█ I have been friends with this one girl for around 2 years now…



I have been friends with this one girl for around 2 years now, I fell for her almost immediately and she rejected me. Just recently I had to transfer to the same school as her for some required credits and we began to hang out a lot. After a while it really seemed like we had started dating, although unintentionally. I did not think about this until she invited me to dinner with her parents. Now here’s the problem, I am horrible with relationships and couple that with the fact that my family is going through the worst financial crisis to date, we may lose our home, I have been super stressed out. Basically, I get angry at her for tiny things and I believe I’m fucking it up royally, as they say in Britain or England (same shit).

The point is that I already know I have to find a new way to release stress, but how can I make it up to her? (A threesome definitely will not work, I tried before). –Hoff


Dear Hoff,


Trying a threesome is good, but, you did not try it out properly. With a mahjong table for example.

Your fate and fortune would have easily changed.


Tuesday, 10 August 2010

░▒▓█ Cultural Interview: Let the sun shine in

Interviewer: Do you believe in global warming? Do you think the sustainability concept is undervalued, valid, or taken too far?

It's hard to say from my end, but girls have always said to me that they feel an intense global warming when they are in bed with me. Looks like they enjoy it.


If they do, then I believe and I am happy.

░▒▓█ Cultural Interview: Living the dream

Interviewer: What is your ultimate dream job? Do you think you'll ever live the dream?

My ultimate dream job is to be a qualified state-approved full-time beach-rolling lazybum extraordinaire.

At the present rate I'm going I'm probably never going to reach it.

░▒▓█ One of the lessons of history is that…

One of the lessons of history is that:

"Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
-Will Durant

His incredible wisdom actually brought tears to my eyes... if I weren't peeling onions.

NEXT.


Monday, 9 August 2010

░▒▓█ Double Positive

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”



Suck my cock and call me Ron Jeremy.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

░▒▓█ Ugly people become better looking...

Carol: "Ugly people become better looking if they are sarcastic......"

Not really. They graduate to being ugly douches. Handsome douches on the other hand, still win the game of life.


░▒▓█ A real arcade perspective.


Serving suggestion, but from another real victory against the anus face Shin Akuma.

Played Super Street Fighter II Turbo in the arcades. Against a pretty competent Asian player I told myself if I won with Super Original Balrog for the third time against the opponent's M. Bison I would call it a day, and won I did!!

Living up to my own word I left, as there is nothing more left to prove (especially when they can't be recorded). The guy playing the same game next to me told me I could still go on, but told him I didn't want to play anymore.

I'm perhaps the only guy who uses the original Balrog in that game, whereas the rest use original Ken, Ryu, DeeJay, M. Bison, ST Balrog and blah blah blah.

Thursday, 5 August 2010

░▒▓█ You silly little thing

To the poor shy little girl walking slowly with her head hung low that in our joint clumsiness and misjudgment we shoulder crashed: I hope you're okay. You seem to have lots of things on your mind, but you are smart to me, and you should do well in life. And even though we didn't say a word to each other but I care about you no matter what.

░▒▓█ What I’d do for Justin Bieber

I could draw his life book for him. And pepper it with cheeky and non-bloody and non-sarcastic anecdotes. On his whitewashed tombstone that I'd slowly chisel, letter by letter, in all but a labour of love.

Let's go Justin!!!


Little did Little Justin know that a water bottle actually qualifies as a competent musical instrument in this new age of soul and trance. And mostly other forms of rubbish.


Today's hit music: a one-hit wonder beat piece from one of the world's earliest musical instruments that struck a chord with all of Justin Beaver's authentic fans. The end.

Justin Beaver: "I don't know why she just threw that at me."

Unknown commenter: I do.

She outgrew pedophilia at that sudden moment?

Monday, 2 August 2010

░▒▓█ A Confounding Conundrum

✔ What doesn’t belong in this list? ▬► ● Meat ● Eggs ● Wife ● BJ ● ?


?.

While ? has a chance of being either vegetarian or non-vegetarian the rest are clearly non-vegetarian. There you go.