Friday, 23 July 2010

░▒▓█ Cultural Interview: Casting couch

Interviewer: If your life was made into a movie, who would you want to play the leading role? What about the other major characters in your life?

Very good question. I would love to play the role of a tireless provider and servant of the People. And in my neverending goal to make sure that they are safe, balanced and happy there would be of course, a supporting cast that lovingly keep things in clockwork running order in the full belief and confidence of what I do in all seasons under the Sun and Moon. Let me in my liberty introduce them to all of you. First, here is Ivanov, an overenthusiastic General whom I knew from our days in the army who worked his way up all the way from Lance Corporal and has a dead-on sense of duty and loyalty, ahem, to me, and is the proud leader of the shield squadron that oversees the well-being and maintenance, of the gulags.

Next here is my benefactor the prominent businessman Mr. Johnson. Also my good friend whom I also expressively allow conducting business operations on this reclusive land I now reside.

Next is this lovely sexy brainy beauty I am touching on the shoulder named Elaine Chan, a cultural arts and information minister I personally elected at post high-school age after seeing her good academic grades and potential. She is specially brought in by me to help bring colour into people's lives reinstalling the lost traditions and styles of our Dragon Clan with great and almost absolute independence on tapping her mind reservoir of creativity in our efforts at educating the masses - provided of of course, she keeps the main objectives and especially me in mind if you understand what I mean. She loves painting and philosophical discussions and she is always in native mode and is ever polite, gentle and obedient to my wishes.

Her shy beautiful friend here that I am grabbing haha I mean holding by the hand is, well just call her Stacey. She is of the same age as Elaine but only a month younger, and she is also young, lovely, and has a good figure, and on top of that she has a sense of music and art that is as deep as the sparkling ocean and serves as my confidante, servant, musician, video game partner and doubles up as a storyteller at night. Like E she is always and forever wearing only her own skin.

Okay, give me the time while I give these two precious roses a kiss each. Alright I'm done. Let's go on.

This wise-looking, sad and quiet old man is Jin Zhao, an intellectual elder who would be my adviser and chief librarian (modern people may laugh in ignorance but it is an important appointment in the old days and I share the ancient love and respect for books).

Here we have Kawazumi Ezo, a... Oh my apologies, it is a dog.

Next we have Dr. Alfons, a crazed but kind doctor and scientist (with successful reverse-engineered hair) who is in charge of all rfid, implant, development technologies and mans an around-the-clock surveillance team with supercomputers to track and monitor the good and innocent masses of this land.

Last but not least we have a still-sleepy, good-looking vainglorious man with still impressive just-woke-up hair slouching and holding a can of lemon soda wondering what happened who lives like a God, and is even rumoured to be thinner, that is Me, also a fun-loving and caring sweet boy who is always trying and working his best to help and regulate the ways of the working class and the common people with his gentle charms, and absolute force and devastating tantrums when the former sometimes fails against their obstinacy.

It feels great to be in power, and in the knowledge that those commoners are being controlled and benignly oppressed and mind-directed for but their own good. Life is beautiful.

Here, have an apple, and smile. I SAID TAKE IT, AND WITH GREAT CHEER!!!

NO. ONE MORE TIME!!!!

Hmm, that's more like it.




 

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